Anorexia Nervosa
From Church of Illuminati
| |
| Unknown | |
| Name: | |
| Pwnage probability: | 33.4% |
|---|---|
| Primary symptoms: | Weight loss |
| Secondary symptom: | Insanity |
| Epic symptoms: | Tooth decay, Colon prolapse |
| Classification | |
| Group: | Group IV |
| Order: | Flaviviridae |
| Family: | Nodantyvirus |
| Genus: | Proana |
Anorexia means that you despite adequate access to food resources starve yourself. Several anorexics abuse laxatives to lose weight, which can lead to a prolapsed colon. When the brain runs out of nutrition, it atrophies and empty holes appear. Those empty holes create a severe under pressure, vacuum. The vacuum inside the head does sometimes distort the facial shape, making the anorexic to look very disgusting. In extreme cases, symptoms similar to the Ebola hemorrhagic fever may occur, like bloody vomits, seizure and bloody diarrhea.
Most anorectics are infertile, but a few can get pregnant. Their eventual children are usually short in stature due to that the anorexics breasts are too small to give enough milk under the first critical months. A rule of thumb is that a child of an anorexic with a BMI of 15 is at least 15 cm (6") shorter than usual. Example: A man is 175 cm (5'9") and his anorectic wife is 160 cm (5'3"). The estimated adult height for a son is usually (175+160)/2+6.5 = 174 cm. But because the mom is an anorexic with a BMI of only 15, the son will be 15 cm shorter, i.e. only 159 cm (5'2½")!!
Contents |
[edit] Cause
Glandular fever like illness. Viral disruptions in central homeostasis, particularly involving corticotrophin-releasing hormone (CRH) regulation. [1]
[edit] Pwnage rate
The average death rate of Anorexia exceed 30%. It's more than twice higher than Sars and the Spanish flu, higher than the Lassa hemorrhagic fever and similar to Smallpox, some variants of Cancer and the Marburg hemorrhagic fever.
[edit] Treatment
[edit] FAQ
-What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Quarter-pounder with cheese.
-What is the PC term for an anorexic? Skeletally prominent.
-How can you tell if an anorexic is wealthy? By the Rolex around their waist.
-What was the centerpiece of the Annual Bulimics' Conference? A cake jumping out of a girl.
-What do you call an anorexic eating vegetable sticks with salsa? A skinny dipper!
