Coropova virus
From Church of Illuminati
| |
| Unknown | |
| Name: | |
| Pwnage probability: | 0.4% |
|---|---|
| Primary symptoms: | Common cold |
| Secondary symptom: | Genital warts |
| Epic symptoms: | Atypical pneumonia |
| Classification | |
| Group: | Group IV |
| Order: | Coronaviridae |
| Family: | Coronavirus |
| Genus: | Coropova |
Coropova is a chimera virus, made from Corona (common cold) and Popova (genital warts). The corona part ensure swift spread, while the popova part prolong the time of infectiousness.
Coropova is rarely dangerous, and half of the infected will just get a common cold. The rest will get genital symptoms in addition to upper respiratory tract symptoms. Infection by sexual route will invariable yield genital warts.
Contents |
Spread
As all common cold viruses, Coropova is highly infectious, and the usually mild symptoms make people not notice it. Some Pinochet-like employers do not recognize common cold like illness as a disease at all, and push employees to attend at work, hence spreading the disease. Once infected, you are contagious for up to four days. Cough and sneezing is very efficient transmission routes.
The genital warts, which is present in half of those infected through respiratory route, contain sacks of live viruses. The warts usually last for months, and sexual intercourse guarantee infection. Common cold symptoms can recur from warts in case of prolonged emotional stress or depression.
Unless early contained, coropova is capable of a pandemic. The case fatality rate is 0.4 percent, which is the equal to the initially though rate of the 2009 H1N1 flu. This would very likely get immense media coverage, and True Christians™ may raise Rapture Condition level.
Symptoms
Cold
Mild fever, sneezing, sore throat, cough. Symptoms last for 4-8 days, and the patient is highly infectious for four days. A very common complication is acute laryngitis, that make it difficult to impossible to talk. Chatterboxes are particular effected. Laryngitis may last for 7-14 days.
Because coropova is great to make chatterboxes to shut up for a while, some consider it a radical discipline method, where neither bellypunching or washing out the mouth with soap is sufficient. It is however strongly discouraged, because the risk of further spread and severe complications.
Warts
The genital warts from a coropova infection do grow firm enough to carry a piercing, like foot warts. The texture and color is similar to ordinary skin. Without treatment, the warts will last for months. Feminists believe that coropova increase the risk for cervical cancer.
Pneumonic coropova
A very small percentage of the infected develop atypical viral pneumonia, where the immune system overreact and attack lung tissue. Case fatality rate is 10 percent, and swift treatment improve survival. Death rate is much higher for the elderly.
Hemorrhagic coropova
A minority of the infected develop a severe form of the disease. In hemorrhagic coropova, the warts are not limited to the genitals, instead they form on blood vessels. The symptoms may look like Ebola, but the cause of the bleedings is very different. Case-fatality rate is 95 percent. Death might occur suddenly if an internal wart burst a large vein.
Diagnosis
The easiest way to distinguish a coropova outbreak from common viral diseases is the presence of genital warts on people who aren't likely to acquire them, like children, married and the elderly.
Another sign is an unusual high rate of acute laryngitis (>30%).
Treatment
The warts need to be pierced with silver jewelry, tipped with a serum. Treatment of pneumonic coropova might include siphon suction of fluids in lungs. There is no treatment for hemorrhagic coropova.
Vaccines against HPV might reduce the risk of genital warts, but can't stop the initial respiratory disease.
