Greensboro Nodantyvirus
From Church of Illuminati
| |
| Unknown | |
| Name: | |
| Pwnage probability: | 25.0% |
|---|---|
| Primary symptoms: | Intestinal problems |
| Secondary symptom: | Insanity, psychosis |
| Epic symptoms: | Hemorrhagic fever |
| Classification | |
| Group: | Group IV |
| Order: | Flaviviridae |
| Family: | Nodantyvirus |
| Genus: | Wijnja Carolina/Nodanty Greensboro |
A variant of the flaviviridae family. Cause a gastroneural fever, characterized by vomiting, stomach pain, headache, anxiety and delirium. Severe infections feature prolapse of the large intestine and personality disorders.
BSL-4
Contents |
[edit] Symptoms
[edit] Mild cases
A tier 1 infection is known as a relatively mild case. Symptoms manifesting a regular gastroenteritis occur. Fever, fatigue and headache are usually endurable. Some patients experience anxiety past the acute phase as a result of cerebral irritation. Fatality rate is quite low (1-2%) and most of them are caused by post-disease depression.
The sickness time is usually 5-10 days, but can be much longer if anxiety or depression sets in.
On the bright side, it is a quick way to lose about 5-10 kg!
- Diarhea
- Stomach pain
- Headache
- Vomiting
- Anxiety
- Clammy sweats
- Hoarseness
- Sense of dryness and tightness in the throat
- Tenderness and pressure
- Retching
- Tenesmus
- Increased heart rate
- Shivering
- Dilated pupils
- Myoclonus (intermittent tremor or twitching)
- Overresponsive reflexes
[edit] Moderate cases
A tier 2 infection is much more severe than a tier 1. Virus infect the neural tissue in intestines and brain, causing severe gastrointestinal problems and brain damage. Surviving patients witness of "a demon eating their brains". Personality changes are common. A non negligible group of these patients will develop neurological disabilities, including borderline personality disorder. Paralysis can cause life-threatening breathing arrest.
Mortality rate is between 20 and 30 percent, but much higher if lack of ventilation support and re-hydration. Duration of acute illness is 13-21 days, with a convalescence period of at least four weeks unless long-term neurological disabilities sets in.
- Hypotension
- Paralysis
- Convulsions and cramps
- Difficulty of speech
- Violent stomach pains in the region of the bowels
- Excessive saliva production
- Lightheadness
- Hyperactive bowel sounds
- High blood pressure
- High fever, usually 40 °C (104 °F)
- Hypervigilance
- Agitation
[edit] Possible long-term effects
- Dementia
- Depression
- Mood swings
- Anorexia nervosa
- Borderline personality disorder
- Ataxia
- Psychosis
- Dyslexia
[edit] Severe cases
A tier 3 infection occur when the virus induce a malignant multiple-system dystrophy and necrosis, severe weakening of capillaries and usually extreme serotonine disturbances. Cytokine storms might occur. Fever at 41.1-44 °C with massive hemorrhages. Sometimes, a hemocrystallizing toxin is produced. The pwnage rate is close to 100 percent.
The virus can kill within an hour, but some patients can survive up to two weeks. Most patients die before the onset of all symptoms. Recovery is rare, and nearly all survivals will be of job for six months or more.
- Hemorrhaging
- Hypotonia
- Pulmonary edema
- Prolapse
- Intussusception
- Lividity of the extremities
- Countenance collapsed
- Eyes red and sparkling
- Excoriation of the anus (goatse)
- Urinary organs occasionally affected with violent burning pains and suppression
- Heart failure
- Severe increases in heart rate and blood pressure.
- Agitated delirium
- Muscular rigidity
- High muscular tension
- Fever above 41.1 °C (106.0 °F)
- Metabolic acidosis
- Rhabdomyolysis
- Seizures
- Renal failure
- Disseminated intravascular coagulation
- Open wounds
[edit] Evolution
[edit] Penisbird virus
A tick has three life stages, larva, nymph and adult. During the larva stage, the ticks drink blood from birds. There's a few strains of nodantyvirus that infect birds, in this case the Penisbird virus. The penisbird disease is characterized by erotomania and zoophilia, which cause sick birds to align on erect penises.
[edit] Bovine nodantyvirus
During the nymph stage, the tick drink blood from mammals. This is a great opportunity to spread bovine strains of nodantyvirus. In this case, ticks acted as mixing weasels for the Penisbird virus and a viscous British strain of bovine nodantyvirus. The UK strain has mutated inside a mad cow, and picked up some of the characteristics of the degenerated brain.
The resulting virus manifests as anorexia nervosa and tremors, and kills more than 90 percent of infected mice.
[edit] Human strain
During the adult stage, ticks drink blood from humans too. The Penisbird-UK virus do not usually infect humans, but as it is highly unstable, it is just a matter of time before just one human get bitten by the wrong tick. With humans, the virus has a broader compatibility of hosts, and can eventually replace the more specific strains. Mortality in infected rats is now 100 percent.
[edit] F.A.Q
Why do the infected shit out their intestines?
The virus cause a severe gastroenteritis with violent bowel movements and stomach cramps. This alone is usually not enough to cause a prolapse. However, in a tier-2 or tier-3 infection, the abdominal and rectal muscles will weaken (dystrophy), and will fail to withstand the pressure from the bowel movements. The massive cytolysis in tier-3 infections will also weaken the fascia, making the colon simply slip out of its place.
[edit] Treatment
There is no cure for any virus in the Nodanty family. There's however some speculations that whiskey can reduce the susceptibility and reduce the risk of developing the tier-III form.
Bellypunching can prevent and cure anorexia nervosa. The method will however not help with the other symptoms, and toxic fallout from burst cells can be spread to other organs.
In case of pulmonary edema, the fluid has to be manually sucked out of the lungs by a straw pipe.
If the fever exceed 42.5 degrees Celsius, it is suggested to apply heat sinks on the body to prevent thermal damage to organs.
Alcohol can lessen violent bowel movements, which otherwise may cause intussusception or prolapse.
[edit] Pwnage
How the virus pwn
- Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome
- Brain failure
- Loss of bowel
