Wijnja virus
From Church of Illuminati
| |
| Unknown | |
| Name: | |
| Pwnage probability: | > 20.0% |
|---|---|
| Primary symptoms: | Intestinal problems |
| Secondary symptom: | Insanity, psychosis |
| Epic symptoms: | Hemorrhagic fever |
| Classification | |
| Group: | Group IV |
| Order: | Flaviviridae |
| Family: | Nodantyvirus |
| Genus: | Wijnja Carolina |
A genus of the flaviviridae family. Cause a gastroneural fever, characterized by vomiting, stomach pain, headache, anxiety and delirium. More virulent strains may cause prolapse of the large intestine and personality disorders.
Contents |
Subtypes
Simon Simplex
Spread by casual contact, causing the Simon variant of Asperger syndrome. In addition to ordinary Asperger, Simon cases are eager to bring random people into relationships with each other, regardless if they actually want one.
Serbia
Tick-borne, might cause borderline personality disorder. 20 percent mortality rate, mostly from cytokine storm. BSL-4
Biafra
Epidemic anorexia nervosa, very high percent mortality rate if untreated. Spread by fecal-oral route, BSL-4
Carolina
Probably a chimera virus naturally created in a human as a mixing vessel. The human was infected by the Biafra and the Serbia strain. Mostly spread by ticks, limited spread from fecal-oral route. BSL-4
Human abortion virus
Mild disease in most cases, but cause abortions in pregnant women. Also known as human abortion virus. BSL-3
Irona
Neurological effect: autism, metabolic effect: lactose intolerance. Rarely life-threatening, although massive weight loss from lactose intolerance might be a risk. BSL-3
Carolina E
A chimera virus, weaponized by dictator Anders Eklund. Cause same symptoms as the Carolina strain, and spreads by fecal-oral route. BSL-5
Malaika
Extremely lethal strain weaponized by dictator Joseph Fritzl. Case-fatality rate is 90 percent, where roughly half of the fatalities are from an acute cytokine storm, while the rest dies as result of progressive neurological disease in the Parkinson Plus disorder spectrum.
Symptoms
Tier 1
A tier 1 infection is known as a relatively mild case. Symptoms manifesting a regular gastroenteritis occur. Fever, fatigue and headache are usually endurable. Some patients experience anxiety past the acute phase as a result of cerebral irritation. Fatalities are rare (< 1.0%) and most of them are caused by post-disease depression.
The sickness time is usually 5-10 days, but can be much longer if anxiety or depression sets in.
On the bright side, it is a quick way to lose about 5-10 kg!
- Diarhea
- Stomach pain
- Headache
- Vomiting
- Anxiety
- Clammy sweats
- Hoarseness
- Sense of dryness and tightness in the throat
- Tenderness and pressure
- Retching
- Tenesmus
- Increased heart rate
- Shivering
- Dilated pupils
- Myoclonus (intermittent tremor or twitching)
- Overresponsive reflexes
Tier 2
A tier 2 infection is much more severe than a tier 1. Virus infect the neural tissue in intestines and brain, causing severe gastrointestinal problems and brain damage. Surviving patients witness of "a demon eating their brains". Personality changes might occur. A non negligible group of these patients will develop neurological disabilities. Paralysis can cause life-threatening breathing arrest.
Mortality rates are from five up to fifty percent, depending of strain. Duration of acute illness is 13-21 days, with a convalescence period of at least two weeks unless long-term neurological disabilities sets in.
- Hypotension
- Paralysis
- Convulsions and cramps
- Difficulty of speech
- Violent stomach pains in the region of the bowels
- Excessive saliva production
- Lightheadness
- Hyperactive bowel sounds
- High blood pressure
- High fever, usually 40 °C (104 °F)
- Hypervigilance
- Agitation
Possible long-term effects
- Dementia
- Depression
- Autism
- ADHD
- Mood swings
- Eating disorders
- Personality disorders
- Ataxia
- Mano depression
- Psychosis
- Dyslexia
Tier 3
A tier 3 infection occur when the virus produce a wast quantity of a toxin known as Intussusceptor Beta, in addition to the disagreeable symptoms of a bad tier-2 infection, including severe serotonine disturbances. An intussusceptor is an agent that cause an intussusception.
In addition to the intussusception, the intussusceptor trigger a malignant multiple-system dystrophy and necrosis, severe weakening of capillaries and prolapse of the large intestine. Cytokine storms might occur. Fever at 41.1-44 °C with massive hemorrhages. The case fatality rate is close to 100 percent.
The virus can kill within an hour, but some patients can survive up to two weeks. Most patients die before the onset of all symptoms. Recovery is rare, and most survivors will suffer life-long disabilities.
- Hemorrhaging
- Hypotonia
- Pulmonary edema
- Prolapse
- Intussusception
- Lividity of the extremities
- Countenance collapsed
- Eyes red and sparkling
- Excoriation of the anus (goatse)
- Urinary organs occasionally affected with violent burning pains and suppression
- Heart failure
- Severe increases in heart rate and blood pressure.
- Agitated delirium
- Muscular rigidity
- High muscular tension
- Fever above 41.1 °C (106.0 °F)
- Metabolic acidosis
- Rhabdomyolysis
- Seizures
- Renal failure
- Disseminated intravascular coagulation
- Open wounds
F.A.Q
Why do the infected shit out their intestines?
The virus cause a severe gastroenteritis with violent bowel movements and stomach cramps. This alone is usually not enough to cause a prolapse. However, in a tier-2 or tier-3 infection, the abdominal and rectal muscles will weaken (dystrophy), and will fail to withstand the pressure from the bowel movements. The massive cytolysis in tier-3 infections will also weaken the meta structure, making the colon simply slip out of its place.
Treatment
There is no cure for any virus in the Wijnja or Nodanty family. There's however some speculations that whiskey can reduce the susceptibility and reduce the risk of developing the tier-III form.
Bellypunching can lessen the neural impact of some strains, ie Proana which cause epidemic anorexia nervosa in its tier-II form. The method is highly disregarded for other strains, ie Serafina, in which toxins can be spread to other organs.
In case of pulmonary edema, the fluid has to be manually sucked out of the lungs by a straw pipe.
If the fever exceed 42.5 degrees Celsius (common in Carolina Wijnja Hemorrhagic Fever), it is suggested to apply heat sinks on the body to prevent thermal damage to organs.
Alcohol can lessen violent bowel movements, which otherwise may cause intussusception or prolapse.
Pwnage
How the virus pwn
- Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome
- Brain failure
- Loss of bowel
